Boondoggled

The following is an actual conversation I recently had with my son*. 


The most awesome son ever:  Hey, you should ask Lulu (not her real name) to ask Wayne Coyne if I can take him to lunch. Maybe it will help that I'm in college now?

Me:  Would probably be more helpful if you had actual cash to take him to lunch with?

Awesome son:  I can spare some money for WAYNE COYNE. Gosh..

Me:  lol   You're so cool.

Awesome son again:  Seriously though.


*  The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I just read this article - Filming of Jon & Kate kids halted.

I swear to god I have never been so sick of stupid TV drama since the days of Anna Nicole.  Through all of their bullshit I have thought often of those kids, what they are being told, etc.  They have lived their entire lives in front of a camera with parents who's only talents seem to be the ability to massively procreate.  Their dad stepping in and putting a stop to it is finally the right thing to do, even if he did time it badly to the point of making it look like it is just sour grapes, since he was basically being phased out... although phasing out the father of 8 kids would be a bit of a difficult task.  I guess he put them in their place, didn't he.

I think I like him more than the fame grubbing mother.  Even if her haircut did get Jessica an enormous amount of blog hits.

Maybe they will all go away now.

It gets ya every time.

JC's son is visiting with us this week.  On Saturday, his mother called him practically yelling at him over the phone.  Apparently he had ran the cell phone bill up, A LOT (when JC asked how much, the number was $800).  What I find so amusing was the expression of delight on JC's face when he heard this, and here is the reason why - When his son's birthday came up in May, we went shopping and got him a prepay cell phone for his birthday, and splurged on a goodly amount of minutes for him.  When JC told his ex wife what he had gotten his son, she seemed all for it, said she would pitch in for minutes, etc.  She then went down and bought a brand spanking new cell phone and put JC's son on her plan....  so the birthday gift that JC had gotten was completely useless.  Needless to say that did not go over well, but JC being JC, decided to just let it go instead of stirring a fuss over it.  We just have this silly phone now that nobody can use.

Fast forward to this past Saturday and his ex wife with an $800 cell phone bill.  I had never seen JC's face light up like that.. not even when we.........  back behind the.............   that made him happy, but the $800 cell phone bill made him delirious. 

I just had to laugh.  Karma can be such a bitch sometimes. 

It's fall, the weather is cool.. it is my first fall season in about 11 years.  After living in Savannah which seems to have only two seasons - hot summer and approximately two weeks of cold weather that I suppose counts as winter - I am enjoying ACTUAL FALL WEATHER.  It puts me in the mood to get up on weekends and cook what I cooked this morning.  Banana pancakes with butter pecan syrup.

Yeah baby.  Life is good.   :-)

Its Talk Like A Pirate Day! As I be havin' spake, this be me favorite holiday o' th' voyage. If someone wants t' start a petition t' make 't a national holiday, I be th' first t' sign. Hopefully I be able t' do several posts today in celebration o' this auspicious tide - that be unless me own swabbieal swashbuckler keeps me too busy t' get t' another post. But first, here be some cartoons from me favorite chicken site:

Sprail th' marnacles, that totally made me giggle.   The Chickens toons can be found at Savage Chickens.  I be indebted to ye Mr. Savage.

I just got the good news in an email:

UKNL Foundation
Ref: LSUK/1507/1982/15
Batch: R3/A312-59
 
Dear Selected winner,
This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash Prize of 
£615,193.00 (Six Hundred and Fifteen Thousand, One Hundred and Ninety Three 
Pounds Sterling in cash from our international online promo sweepstakes held
in the United Kingdom.
The selection process was carried out through random selection in our 
computerised email selection system from a database of over 250,000,000 email 
addresses drawn from all the continents of the world which your email was among 
the first seven (7) lucky winners.
To file for claim contact the claims officer via email by providing the 
following information:
 
Reference Number: LSUK/1507/1982/15
1.Name:.............
2.Address:............
3.Occupation:.............
4.Nationality:............
5.Age:..................
6.Phone:...............
7.Sex:...................
 
For due remittance of funds.
CONTACT: Mr William Page.
EMAIL: uknl-williampage@w.cn
TEL :+44 701 114 8691
 
Yours Truly,
Dr. Jayaprakash Sreenarasimhaiah.
Online Co-ordinator.
UKNL Foundation.
 
NOTE: YOUR RESPONSE SHOULD BE SENT TO THE CLAIMS 
OFFICER MR. WILLIAM PAGE VIA EMAIL (uknl-williampage@w.cn) ONLY.

Now I have to decide what to do with my new windfall. First thing first though - I must translate the above letter into pirate for Talk Like A Pirate Day:

UKNL Foundation
Ref: LSUK/1507/1982/15
Batch: R3/A312-59

Dear Selected winner,
This be t' inform ye that ye ben selected fer a cash Prize o'
£615,193.00 (Six Bucketfull o' an' Fifteen Thousand, One Bucketfull o' an' Ninety Three
Pounds Sterlin' in cash from our international online promo sweepstakes held
in th' United Kingdom.
Th' selection process be carried ou' through random selection in our
computerised email selection system from a database o' o'er 250,000,000 email
addresses drawn from all th' continents o' th' world which yer email be among
th' first se'en (7) lucky winners.
T' file fer claim contact th' claims officer via email by providin' th'
followin' information:

Reference Number: LSUK/1507/1982/15
1.Name:.............
2.Address:............
3.Occupation:.............
4.Nationality:............
5.Age:..................
6.Phone:...............
7.Sex:...................

Fer due remittance o' funds.
CONTACT: Mr William Page.
EMAIL: uknl-williampage@w.cn
TEL :+44 701 114 8691

Yours Truly,
Dr. Jayaprakash Sreenarasimhaiah.
Online Co-ordinator.
UKNL Foundation.

NOTE: YER RESPONSE ORTIN' TA BE SENT T' TH' CLAIMS
OFFICER MR. WI BE PAGE VIA EMAIL (uknl-williampage@w.cn) ONLY.

Pirate booty! I won pirate booty! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Hey guys! I know ye be on top o' this, but I jus' thought I would remind ye that two, count em TWO, days from now be Talk Like A Pirate Day, a/k/a me most favorite holiday o' th' voyage. I be so excited! A round o' grog fer sea dogs an' land lubbers! Time t' pillage an' plunder! Time t' act like th' wench I be!

Arrr. I feel better now, but look ou', thar be more like this on th' way.