Thursday, March 20, 2008

Meatloaf Day

Meatloaf Day is what I call periods of time when I have had pretty much zilch to blog about. Nothing is really going on, good or bad, all the funny things I seem to see are things I've already posted about, etc.

HOWEVER, in a discussion with my partner in crime, Jess, she was talking about how someone read and commented on her blog and that she was writing them an email to thank them. I said, "You are sending them an email to thank them for reading your blog?"

Her response was, "Well, yeah."

My first thought was HEY... then I pointed out to her that she doesn't ever thank me for reading her blog.

Speechlessness abounds in these here parts now. I love it when I can render her with nothing to say. I just knew I had to blog about it.


Thus ends my post on Meatloaf Day.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I Just Received This...

And thought I would post it. It is an open letter written by the police officer who arrested Dawn Wells a/k/a Mary Ann.

Dear Deb:

Yes it was me. I am the fool who arrested America's fantasy, Mary Ann. But it wasn't my fault! The woman was stoned! It was my job! I had no choice! The world can stop making fun of me now. I realized at the time that arresting Mary Ann would be opening me up to all sorts of backlash, but it had to be done. If it had been any other famous person (Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc.), I would have been applauded. As it was I have gotten nothing but grief from anyone who knows, which at the moment, unfortunately, seems to be the entire population of the United States.

Life has been relatively peaceful since it happened in October. Other than a few officers I work with nobody really knew that Mary Ann had been arrested, but when it hit the national news the shit hit the fan. People point at me on the street. My own grandmother has chastised me for picking on Mary Ann. I can't drive down the street in peace now. When I pull someone over for speeding the first thing out of their mouth is, "You're the one who arrested Mary Ann! What the fuck were you thinking you idiot!" They then laugh when I give them their tickets instead of looking chastised and sorry like they are supposed to. I had one guy actually say that he couldn't wait to tell his friends that he got a ticket from the asshole who arrested Mary Ann.

Ms. Wells told me at the time that I pulled her over for swerving that she was swerving because she couldn't find the heater in her car. All four windows were down, no wonder she needed to turn the heater on. Yes okay I know that I am resorting to sarcasm, but I need my life to go back to normal. She had four half smoked joints in her car! What was I supposed to do...? Blame it on Ginger, or maybe the Professor??

Please, let my life go back to normal. I only did what my job made me do.

Stop calling me Little Buddy.

Officer J.G.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Paolo Nutini

This guy was recommended by Diane, so I thought I would check him out... turns out she was absolutely correct in her recommendation, the guy is GREAT. She gets 598,923 bonus points for him being Scottish. hehe

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Email Stuff

I hadn't spoken to the WRS in weeks. Apparently he was busy working on a huge ass grant worth $2 million, but that is no excuse as far as I'm concerned. Our friendship should come first, but oh well. Last week the grant app was done and I still hadn't heard from him, so I thought I would prompt a little bit of contact with an email. Nothing big really, I just told him I was moving to Russia with the handsome JC and that I was pregnant with twins.

Sure enough, that elicited a response:

Congratulations!!! Я надеюсь вы john и близнецы имеет сказовое время в земле Putin. Май ваши младенцы имеют более малых младенцев внутри их... .and настолько дальше.

No I don't know what it says other than Congratulations, John and Putin. So I ran it through the Babelfish translation site. The translation was:

Congratulations!!! I hope you john and twins has fantastic time in earth Putin. May your babies have the smaller babies inside of their.....and so further.

I'm pretty sure that isn't what he intended to say, but who knows. My response was, "I was just kidding you freak, god almighty what am I going to do with your fucking ass??"

For shits and grins I ran it through Babelfish as well, to translate it from English to French. It looked like this after translation:

J'étais juste vous badinant anormal. toute-puissant d'un dieu ce que la baise suis moi allant faire avec votre âne.

I love how the French can make the most insulting lines sound elegant. Just to be sure I thought I would translate it from French BACK to English to see how garbled it came out. This was the result:

I was right badinant you abnormal all-powerful of a god what kisses am me active to make with your ass.

I'm also pretty sure that isn't what I meant to say, but I swear that Jess and I laughed until tears were streaming.

That's good shit right there. hehe