Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday Randomness

I have several topics running through my mind on this cold Friday morning.  I can't choose just one so I'll go with them all.

1)  Bad dreams - I had dreams last night that left me feeling quite unsettled.  They all seemed to run together, sort of like a wet painting - but the worst part was a good friend of mine shot herself, right in front of me.  It was very upsetting, I woke up upset, but the problem is this friend died several years ago, so why I am dreaming that is beyond strange.  I'll just chalk it up to my not quite normal brain kicking into overdrive again.  I would say that it was good to see her again, even if it was just a dream - but it wasn't.  Not the way my dream ran.

2)  My computer situation - As you know and as I have whined about in past posts, my computer monitor bit the dust.  That is a rather serious problem for a laptop and I had gotten a new computer, which also bit the dust.  I was in the process of replacing that one when it was stolen out of the box whilst in transit.  Best Buy told me that it had fallen out of the box and was damaged, but that isn't what the UPS site said.  UPS says the box was empty, not that the item had been damaged.  I think I'll go with UPS on this one, they have no reason to lie about it and Best Buy has their reputation to protect.   Whatever reason, my brand new, state of the art, cutting edge laptop was gone.  My problem with the entire situation is that we never, not once, got a phone call or email telling us that there was a problem with the original order.  If I hadn't been tracking the package on UPS we would never have known and it just never would have gotten here.  They only re-shipped it because I spent a lot of wasted minutes on the telephone, calling them over and over after their customer service people hung up on me, disconnects, their system was down, etc.  The last guy I spoke to - and by then I was quite annoyed at the entire matter - was rather defensive about it all saying, "We are giving you free overnight shipping, I don't know what else you want us to do about it."  I wanted to (but I didn't because I'm a fucking lady), I wanted to tell him how about you hit your big toe with a sledgehammer and then you'll experience some of the frustration and pain that you guys have put us through over this.  You would think that when someone is buying a nearly $2k computer they would be, oh I dunno... a little more polite.  I'm still debating on taking it back to the store when it gets here.. which leads me into my next bit of randomness:

3)  My old computer is now working.  I'll tell you my newly found secret for fixing a laptop.  a)  You turn it on and stare at it with a look of disgust on your face; b) You set up a replacement laptop next to it; c) You close the lid and flip it over to get the serial/model number so you can troubleshoot it; d) You don't find anything so you proceed to use the second laptop, totally forgetting about the upside down, turned on laptop lying on the desk; e) You let your cat walk across it and sit on it on a regular basis; f) You decide a week and a half later that you are going to look at it and see if maybe it had miraculously fixed itself; g) You flip it over, open the lid and find that YES, IT HAS MIRACULOUSLY HEALED ITSELF.  My computer is back and its working just fine.  Its a miracle!  All I can say is that cat butt must have a healing magic, all its own.  But now I have a whole other problem - my brand new, state of the art, cutting edge laptop is supposed to be delivered today.  What to do what to do.

4)  My two dogs are, at this very moment, walking up and down the stairs for no apparent reason.

5)  I've saved the best part for last.  After I did the post about the Betty I received a hilarious (I'm telling you it was hilarious) email from a friend, with several links in there along the same sort of lines (but different).  This discussion was gray hair DOWN THERE, merkins, among other things, but the very best one was THIS - go on ya gotta look, you have to, your life will be incomplete until you do.

Okay, for those of you who refuse to look, I'll add their description:

Are your p**sy lips looking a little dull and lifeless? Do you wish they had the rosy hue of the day you were born? Now they can! My Pink Button “genital cosmetic colorant” will restore the pink back in your tired, old, used-up ladyflower! The product comes in four shades, cleverly named after the labia of Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page, Ginger Rogers, and Audrey Hepburn, natch! My Pink Button only costs $29.95, so what are you waiting for? Your vaginal lips are ready for a whole new look!

All I have to say is that I flat refuse to worry about my bits looking dull and lackluster.

That's all, I am out of randomness for the day.  An empty vessel, a mind used up....   a.......  yeah this is me, gone.

Love ya mean it!


Jess said...

Your laptop fixing skills are amazing! Particularly the part about looking at it in disgust. That works wonders!

My suggestion is to keep the NEW laptop, wipe the old one and then sell it on Craigslist and then use THAT money to go shopping with to buy Little Big Planet 2.

I don't even know where to begin on the dull and lifeless pussy lips...don't even know...

Deb said...

Actually Jess, to be accurate, it is p**sy, and I think that while you guys are doing the Lucky Betty you should do this as well on your tired, old, used up ladyflower.

I still need pics for posting.