Saturday, October 14, 2006

Stewart


Stewart, the Homicidal Cereal Killer Rodent from New Jersey, as he has come to be known, has been spotted in the home of Boondoggled patron, Bikerbabe. There are those of you who may be unfamiliar with the world reknowned mouse's history, the highlights of which follow:

Stewart was one of a set of twins, born to his unwed mother in the field four houses down from the home of Bikerbabe. Stewart's childhood was uneventful, with no known traumatic issues to explain the reason for his turn to a life of crime. When contacted by this reporter, Stewart's elderly mother, Elvira, stated, "He was a good boy, a little quiet, but he never caused a speck of trouble, not a speck!" When asked about her other son, Bucky, Elvira said, "NO COMMENT!" She then ended the interview. Further attempts to contact Elvira have been unsuccessful.

The body of Stewart's twin brother, Bucky, was recently discovered in the basement of Bikerbabe, and the story began to unfold. Also discovered in the vicinity were four other deceased mice, believed to be the bodies of Stewart's first four wives, who have been reported missing by their families. From clues found with the grisly discovery, authorities have come to believe that Stewart discovered illicit relationships between his wives and his twin brother, and killed them all in a jealous rage. At this time the cause of death is unclear, but is being investigated by the state pathologist.

Stewart still remains at large.

Bikerbabe is offering a large reward for his capture.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I came upon your blog during my random sojourn through the "next blog" button and wanted to let you know that I visited. I love your blog!

Deb said...

Thank you for visiting Mrs. Joseph, come back often. :-)

BikerbabeNJ said...

Has anyone ever told you that you're a sick woman? LOL

Perhaps there's a single exterminator in my neighborhood (willing to work pro bono of course) who may take an interest in my desperate need?

Somebody HEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE

Odat said...

I just may have to call PETA ! Sounds like mice abuse to me.
Poor Stewart!!!! He's gotta be saved!!!
I, for one, am all for starting a SAVE STEWART CAMPAIGN!!!!!

Deb said...

I think he's being framed.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Elvira did it. She killed them all. Stuart knows he's next. That's why he's hiding.

Deb said...

OMG heart you are probably right! This story is just a typical example of how the media twists things to their own agenda. Stewart is probably Republican.

I think we should all write to the editor.