Saturday, October 14, 2006

Body Building

I have a good friend who is into the whole fitness thang. She goes to the gym twice a day, she will answer my stupid questions about what exercises will flatten tummy muscles (although I never do them, it was actually just a test to see if she knew). She will tell me what I should eat to lose weight, and I can hear her roll her eyes when we're talking on the phone and I tell her I just had pizza (she can't help but mutter "whatever," though, because she freely admits to having to have the last word about everything). Anyway, during one of our many bullshit on the phone sessions, she let slip a few secrets of bodybuilding contests. I told her I was going to put them on my blog. Her only request was that I don't say where they came from.

So her code name, when I refer to her, is The Fitness Nazi. ;-)

Okay, so she told me that when these people get ready to go up on stage and do these body building contests, they spray themselves with some orange shit, like fake tan, so their muscles can be more defined. She said it looks horrible and embarrassing in public, and doesn't wash off easily, but it looks great on the stage.

They also spray themselves with Pam, you know, the cooking spray shit, to give them that oily look.

Also, before they walk out onto the stage, they will either eat chocolate, or drink a glass of wine, because it makes their veins stand out.

From what I understand... and I could be completely wrong on this part so don't scream if I am because I will correct it in a later post..... these people don't look like this all the time. When they know they are going to do a contest they limit themselves to a very specific diet (I will find out what it is and post that later), and that they are practically dehydrated (which is why the wine works so well on enhancing their veins). If you see them a couple of months AFTER a contest they wouldn't look like this at all.


(P.S.: When I informed The Fitness Nazi of her new name, she was not amused. hehe)


heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'm pretty sure our nazi governor uses the orange stuff all the time. Maybe that's why they call CA The Golden State.

I think what bodybuilders do to themselves is hideous. On men, too. I much prefer the look of bodies that have natural muscles from just doing normal body things.

But maybe I'm rationalizing because I would die of boredom if I had to spend every minute exercising violently. And i like pizza.

Just D said...

....... with pepperoni......

mmmmmmmmm pizzaaaaaa

Nihilistic said...


I work with a guy who is that big! He looks so weird in his clothes...he always looks uncomfortable, like he's just too bulky. I wouldn't like it myself.

mist1 said...

I ddrinkk winne all the timme and I donnn't look likeee that/ what am I dooing wrong.?


I just don't get the appeal of extreme body building. Yuck! Although the part about eating chocolate and drinking wine sounds good...

Odat said...

all i have to say is:
ewwwwwww, ewwwwwwwww and ewwwwwwwww