Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Down To The Wire

This is it. In one week I will be moving from the southern coast of Georgia (redneck country) to the scary hills of suburban Maryland (political pissant country). I am nervous about the big change, but happy to be moving in with the Handsome JC to live in utter sin (because I’m a whore - or something like that). I have only packed half of my apartment.. but just enough to do some damage. I was walking through yesterday and tripped on a box. Yes. Fell. On the floor. I lay there for a minute trying to assess the damage, when Jake, my trusty guard dog, came running up to check for injuries. He immediately stuck his nose in my ear and snuffed. I had no choice at that point. I started giggling.

Today I have a sore left knee, and twisted right ankle, and I have no idea which side to hobble on, but I think I will survive the ordeal. The receptionist and my boss, Acid Brother, both laughed at my misfortune and then both had the nerve to deny it.

Anyway, since I am unsure how much posting I will be able to do in the next week, I will post some Halloween hilarity.

First is Zombie Home, a website for Zombie Rights. Some of the comments really struck me:

"I just want people to know that there are plently of celebrities who are with us in this zombie cause. Here are some names: 1. Rob Zombie 2. Ozzy Osbourne 3. Marilyn Manson 4. The Undertaker 5. Tim Burton 6. Johnny Depp 7. Cher"

"I'm not even a zombie, I'm just really into Zombie sex... and I get discriminated against too!"

"I was walking down the street, having been a zombie for five years, and an old lady spat at me! So injust..."

Come on people! How can we just sit and pretend this travesty isn’t happening right under our noses?? Stand up and count yourself amongst the believers in Zombie Rights! Be strong! (And be able to run fast!)

And now...........

Turn up the sound for the REALLY REALLY scary part. I was horrified at what I heard!

(But the snails are kind of cute.)

That is all for now. I shall return soon.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Wishing you lots of happiness in your new life, and a whole neighborhood of friendly zombies around you.

Jess said...

I was thinking more of slutbucket than whore, but indeed, you will be living in sin! WE WELCOME YOU!

I still don't want to talk about you leaving, so I am not gonna.