I just read this article about a guy who was taking his new girlfriend to a party where his ex-wife would be. He was running over the several nightmare scenarios of the possible outcome. This made me think back to Christmas before last when I met my ex-husband's girlfriend. I wasn't very nice.
Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't her fault. She seemed nice enough and believe it or not, I was genuinely happy that my ex-husband had found someone that he cared about and who seemed to care about him. The problem was that I was very, very, VERY angry at my ex-husband, and that came out in the meeting. I am pretty sure that the new girl thought it was directed at her, but what could I say. At that point I didn't care.
What happened was that on Christmas morning, which he and I had always made a point of sharing with our children even after the divorce, my son opened a gift from his father and it turned out to be something that I had stood firmly against him having until he turned 18. My son knew he wasn't allowed to have it until he was 18 and my ex-husband knew my view on it, but he got it for him anyway. I was, how shall we say it... murderous. That night while I was sitting peacefully at my parent's house, my ex-husband arrived to introduce the new girl to me. I was still murderous and it was very apparent.
I feel a little bad now about behaving that way because I know (or at least hope) that it had nothing to do with her, that it was just him being him and overriding my wishes (yet again).
The two of them have since broken up, but if ever I see her I will apologize for behaving like a spoiled child in front of her.
And then we can laugh about the ex that belongs to the both of us now.