I was nearly asleep last night when the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it is my son's number. I answer it with a sleepy what the fuck do you want now kid (okay I didn't really), and the first thing he says is MOM WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?!? Ummm.. why do you need to know? He then asks is it Lynn? Yes.. He and his friend start triumphantly yelling.
After I got him to stop sounding so happy I asked what was going on. Apparently they had found a website that lists arrest convictions, and they found my full name with a Protective Order filed against them. Then were even happier when they found my full name with an outstanding warrant for possession of a controlled dangerous substance. I said cool.. when was this? He looked at the date and realized it couldn't have been me since I wasn't living there at that time.
His disappointment was extreme.
I apologized for not being a wanted drug dealer.
He said, "I was so excited!" I apologized again. He sadly said he had to go and hung up.
That's my boy.