I think I posted about this once before a long time ago, but I’m too lazy to go back and check so I’ll do it again while I’m thinking about it.
Jess' roommate works at a pet store and Jess is, at this very moment, conspiring an epic prank upon his person. The ideas so far are:
1. Call and say that the fish that they thought was male has laid eggs, and ask if the pet store is going to help support all those babies.
2. Call and say that they are in the process of moving, can’t take the fish they’ve had for a couple of years with them, and ask if it is safe to eat them as opposed to flushing them down the toilet.
3. Call and say that her fish was pregnant and ask if they provide fish abortions.
4. Call and claim to be a local restaurant who has ran out of the main ingredient for Rabbit Coq Au Vin, and needs to purchase every rabbit they have in the store ASAP.
The possibilities are endless.
When our receptionist had her beloved dog neutered I wanted sooooo badly to call her up and tell her that the dog turned out to be hermaphrodite and had to be spayed as well. It was also considered to call her up pretending to be a local Chinese restaurant and asking her if she wanted the collar and leash back. Alas, I was unable to bring myself to do these to her, but one day soon I will be able to use those on someone. It is one of my life goals before I die.