Monday, December 10, 2007

For All Your Armor Needs

I have been having internet connection issues. I tried for over an hour to do this post yesterday and just couldn't get it finished for all the disconnections. Everything seems to be back in working order for the moment though, so I shall strive to finish what I started.

I am sure that like myself, you too have wondered many times where we can acquire our fashionable, yet understated and tasteful body armor and accessories for everyday needs, not only for you but for all members of your family. It is a problem, to be sure.

Fear not... I have done the research for you!

Armpit armor for those days that you have forgotten your deoderant. The picture on the top is what these handy dandy little accessories look like whilst unattached, the one on the bottom shows them fully equipped. Never again will the public be required to suffer through your distinct lack of personal hygiene. God help anyone around when you take these off though.

Anatomically correct boob armor. I can see why a girl might want the nipple-less boob armor, but the way I see it, if you use the ones with the nipples, it would distract any man who you might be trying to conquer. Perhaps just enough to make the fight easier. We girls must use whatever resources we have at hand.

Bug armor, available in a variety of colors. If you ever find yourself facing a fight and feel in the mood to look like a roly poly*, this is the armor for you.

Your dog wants to look like a roly poly too.

Finally, if the squirrels in your yard tend to suffer, shall was say unintended - death and destruction - then this is what you need. Never again will your squirrels lose acorn and pecan wars with the neighbor's squirrels. Your squirrels will dominate the neighborhood, and possibly soon the world.

There you have it. I knew I had to pass on this useful information to you. If you are interested, all of the above (and more) can be found at Pitbull Armory.


1 comment:

Odat said...

Well, my boobs may need protection...but I just hope there was no abuse of lil animals in this presentation..that would be just so wrong. ;-)