Thursday, October 18, 2007

An Office Tour

As you know, I share an office with this wild thang. We spend a large majority of the day being sarcastic and poking fun at the office chimps, and giggling like a couple of 12 year old girls.

I thought that in the spirit of full disclosure, I would give you a tour of our small space in the universe.

To start, this is the famous can of chicken soup which touched off such controversy. It is still here, I haven't had a chance to gum it yet.

This is my nifty new staple remover. The air around here is thick with envy.

And yes, the Hershey catalog is MINE, MINE I SAY - DON'T TOUCH IT DAMMIT!

This is Exhibit 1 of Jess's lack of organization. I constantly tell her that she must be more organized, she must conform. She tells me to fuck off. Not very professional really.

Exhibit 2 of the same thing. Fucking off now.

This is our Monet. It hangs above Jess's desk. We also have a Van Gogh above my desk. I decided to include this in the office tour to prove to everyone that we are fucking classy. (I am anyway, *snicker*)

This is my printer. Yes MINE. I graciously allow her and a couple of other people print their crap - I mean work - to MY printer. I do this because not only am I cultured and classy, I'm fucking generous as hell.

These are my souvenir shot glasses. One is from St. Augustine, Florida and one is from California. Yes, that is a duck in the one shot glass. Don't ask. Trust me, some things are better remaining a mystery.

My Halloween candy bucket. It is full of chocolate and Pop Rocks. It is how I bribe people to come visit me.

This is my desk calendar that the boss dude gave me. I seem to be perpetually stuck at August 7. That was a Tuesday, by the way.

My filing box. I know it looks completely out of control, but there is a method to this madness, I'm pretty sure.

This is Frank. He haunts us on a daily basis. The air conditioning vent is WAAAAAAAAY high in this building, so when Frank went to Jesus with his legs sticking out, we just left him there. I find his presence oddly comforting really - mostly because if they disappeared it would be truly disturbing.

This is Jess's calendar. It hangs on the wall above her desk. Note the elegant hanging implement she has used (a straightened paperclip). The message on the calendar should probably be our motto here, it seems to fit.

This is our magnet cabinet. It also holds some sort of file, but that isn't the important part, these magnets have been our entertainment on many a rainy day. We usually line them up to insult each other. Although Bob the Lobster looks benign, he really is evil. He was a present from Jess to me after her vacation to Boston. He will be going with me wherever I go because I love him so much.

Anyway, this is a small part of my - *I mean our* - office. I didn't show you my 75 cent Las Vegas winnings, or Walter, The Ugliest Plant In The Universe, or anything else that might make us look weird and/or quirky.



Steven Swain said...

Seems like a pretty decent workspace, even if you have to share it with Wild Thang and Walter.

My cubicle is pretty much just ugly :-) The camera would break!

BikerbabeNJ said...

I too am in a cubicle now. thank God for plants or it would look like plain old cold steel. (OK with a little cloth to attempt to dress it up)

weird... sighhhhh....

Odat said...

I was enjoying the tour until I got to Frank! Geeze...ugh!
Disgusting! Yucko! etc.

Jess said...

If you will look behind you, you will notice that my filing has moved to another location in the office. Just gotta mix it up sometimes, yo!

I just know, one day, the air is gonna come on and one of Frank's legs is gonna come off and float down and stab me in the eye...oh how I await the day...

Deb said...

Frank and I would laugh our asses off. Just warning ya........

Any of you guys are welcome to Ugly Walter for your cubicles. He doesn't seem too happy with me.