Friday, April 13, 2007

Potty Wars

Most of you know that I work in a law firm. Dignity abounds. (snicker)

In our building, there are two ladies bathrooms. One of the first floor and one on the second floor. There is a secretary that has decided the first floor bathroom is under her jurisdiction, and she has decreed that the light is to be left on at all times.

Wrong. Thing. To. Say. To. Me.

It has been my want and habit for the last 40 years, since the days that I could reach the light switch in any given room, to turn the light on when I go in, and off when I come out. Its a good habit, a conservative habit. I still do that. Except now when I go into that bathroom the light is on. When I leave, it goes off, no matter how much our resident bathroom monitor would like it be left on. She has made it her mission in life to find out WHO keeps turning the bathroom light off.

Yesterday, I was busted. I came out of the bathroom (after truly needing a legitimate pee), and turned out the light. This is the way I have done my bathroom breaks for the last nearly 8 years of working there. A few minutes later I am apprised that Potty Monitor jumped up from her desk and ran out into the hall, and sees that the light was turned out. She then ran around the corner and saw me going up the stairs. She then muttered, "UNBELIEVABLE."

Everyone in the building has been highly entertained by the whole thing, myself included.

Later in the day, I had to walk downstairs for another reason, and as soon as Potty Monitor saw me come off the stairway she jumped up from her desk (I saw her that time), and came around the corner to make sure I didn't turn out the light. Well.. since I didn't need to pee, I didn't go in there, hence I didn't touch the light, and I pretended to be clueless about the entire sordid affair.

Now really, this woman is in the vicinity of 50 years old. There is not one person in the building that is below the age of 25. Is is absolutely necessary to have someone monitor light usage in one room? When is it okay for a person to hijack control of a public use room and make it her own, requiring the rest of us to follow her rules or else. I do believe the woman needs a hobby, or sex, or something.

Meanwhile I will continue to do my civic duty and conserve electricity. It is the least I can do for my community. Hasn't she heard of global warming??


Odat said...

That would drive me to do what you're doing.....geeze....I'd probably take out the lightbulb...
I mean,hey, conservation is conversation! Keep up the good work...hehe.

Billy said...

maybe she should move her desk into the bathroom, that would save her jumping up everytime someone comes down the stair

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Billy's suggestion is excellent.

Could it be the Potty Monster is afraid of the dark?

Have you considered setting a trip wire between her desk and the restroom?

Deb said...

I like the trip wire idea, that's brilliant! hehe

Actually, there are lights on in the bathroom that really are left on at all times, the lights above the vanity, so it is never dark in there. That is another reason everyone is mystified by her actions.

The CEO said...

I think this is an issue for the partners, and ultimately, the US Congress. That'll keep her busy past either her or your retirement, whichever comes first, and you will have created employment!

Brian J. said...

One place where I worked, someone flushed paper towels, or tried to; the ensuing backup was pretty messy. It happened more than once, so we got the escalating sets of warnings, e-mails, PA announcements.

So the company installed cameras outside the bathroom doorway to monitor who came out right before an overflow occurred.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Maybe "she" is really a "he" and needs the bathroom to be well-lighted so that he/she doesn't pee all over the place.

I'm just saying.

Crankster said...

Control freaks ruin everything!

Deb said...

No kidding. I'm so glad I'm not a control freak (she says as she contemplates running downstairs to switch off the light).


Sassan Sanei said...

You need to get a remote-control light switch from Home Depot and install it in place of the existing light switch. (Make sure you get the same style and colour so that it doesn't look out of place.) Then you can randomly turn the light on and off from your desk. Oh the fun to be had!