World's longest yard sale is on this weekend -- 450 miles of other people's crap, from Kentucky to Alabama
That senator that hates spending a dime on firefighters wants to spend $5 million to train insects to sniff out explosives and bite firemen in the ass
Senator Clinton says Secretary Rumsfeld should resign. Rumsfeld says that lesbo could use a good boning. Actually, we can't verify that, but he probably did
Burglar in Britain identified by his "swishing" walk, fact that he was the only gay guy in the village. Really
Amid record heat, crippling drought and water restrictions, homeowner associatations threatening grandma with a fine because her lawn is yellow
Actual headline: "Seven Indonesians Do Not Have Bird Flu." Sucks to be the other 245,452,732
Some leaker just leaked the memo about not leaking memos
Baboon to undergo testosterone replacement after losing his mojo, shiny coat and two of his girlfriends
Australia to build floating prison ship armed with machine guns. Dennis Hopper busting a nut to be the first captain
Like so many who came before, tropical storm Chris flubs his shot at the majors and returns to his former, boring life as a cloud that looks kinda like a bunny
Minor league team to host "Britney Spears Baby Safety Night" - every time the opposing teams drops the ball, fans get free wings from Hooters
NC creates state panel to examine possible wrongful convictions. Texas laughs so hard it almost falls into the gulf
Man goes to the hospital for a standard urine test, is alarmed to discover he is pregnant
Elton John thinks American bands have no fashion sense. This from a guy who used to wear a boa in concert
There are some clever people out there. ;-)
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