An 85 year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. Doc gave the man a jar and said, "take this home and bring me a semen sample tomorrow"
The next day the 85 year old reappeared at the doctor's office, but the jar was clean, and empty!
The doctor asked "what happened?" The man explained: "Well doc, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing."
"Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "
"Then I asked my wife for help, She tried with her right hand, and then her left, still nothing! She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with them out, and still nothing! We even called Adelle, the lady next door. She tried her best too; first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing!"
The doctor was shocked! "You asked a neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
HA HAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA