Medically Proven!

My ex husband has been friends with a man for many years. The guy was nice enough but had issues with drug abuse. (Why my holier-than-thou ex husband was friends with him has always been beyond my understanding.)

Anyway, two weeks ago the friend overdosed. I'm told it was probably deliberate as the guy was depressed, etc. Last week the doctors told them that there was no brain activity, there was no hope for survival. A sad state of affairs really.

But yesterday I got an email from my ex husband telling me that when the guy was removed from the ventilator, the guy woke up and has now been moved to a regular room, and recognizes his friends when they go to see him.

Of course I had to respond to the email. I told him this was proof that men function on little or no brain activity.

I never got a response.

I Have An Owie

I was given $100 from one of the boss dude's clients (yes that one) as a Christmas gift. I used it and bought some nice square dishes and a wok set. I LOVE that thing, the stir fries made in there are heaven. But the other day I was cooking up a stir fry and when I put the chicken into the hot grease, it splattered all over my stomach. Fortunately I had on a loose shirt and most of the grease went on that. Unfortunately it was one of my good wispy sort of shirts and the hot grease melted a hole into it. (DAMN I hate when that happens!) Some of the hot grease did make it onto my stomach though, and now I have a bright red patch right on the middle of my gut. It isn't very bad, just abnormally red. Seeing as how the shirt I had on was red I was wondering if maybe the dye from the shirt cooked itself into the skin on my stomach.

Can that happen???

Can't We All Just Get Along??

This just won't go away. Don Imus and his stupid radio behavior. His ass was fired, but now one of the basketball players he allegedly slandered is sticking her name into the limelight.

A member of the Rutgers women's basketball team sued Don Imus and CBS on Tuesday, claiming the radio personality's sexist and racist comments about the team damaged her reputation.

(Just FYI: "Damaged her reputation" = hurt her feelings) Anyway, wouldn't most sensible people have just taken the moral high ground and moved on?? I guess not, when there is potential money to leech.

It goes on to say:

Vaughn was humiliated, embarrassed and publicly mocked for the comments, the lawsuit claims. Her attorney, Richard Ancowitz, said: "The full effect of the damage remains to be seen."

I googled the esteemed Mr. Ancowitz's website. He has defamation of character listed as one of his specialties. He should also list "getting his name in the news by attaching himself to the back of a dead news story."

Anyway, I do know how things work around here, and hopefully the good sense of any judge where that particular lawsuit was filed. Here this lawsuit would more than likely fade into oblivion because the girl suffered no damage. I don't think she can cash in because her feelings were hurt. If that was the case I would be a rich woman. hehe

If I Used Tags.....

This one would go under the "I am an idiot" tag.

I was cleaning my kitchen yesterday (shaddup, it happens), and I opened my towel drawer. I stood there digging around for a minute wondering why the drawer seemed stuffed so full - when there it was. Half an onion in a ziploc bag.

Yes. For some reason unknown to modern man, I had put half of an onion into a baggie and then put it in my towel drawer. It had been there for days. I do not remember doing it. What's worse is I must have seen it when I was digging around for a dish cloth and I just passed right over it. It just didn't connect that there was an onion somewhere it wasn't supposed to be.

But, if I used tags, the following would be tagged under "ego strokes."

I don't know if you guys remember the story of the proposal, but yesterday I was talking to the same client. He was telling me about how he is leaving today for a two week trip to Australia. I told him I was jealous, that I had never been. He said, "Come go with me, I'll buy."

Holy GOD was it ever tempting... even JC told me I should go, although I reminded him that it was an invitation from a man who had proposed to me and that I would be expected to put out.

But I'd be putting out in Australia............ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........

;-)

Geeze

Are bloggers an immoral bunch? At one time I was getting many search hits for "nudist blogspot," but it stopped. Well now its started again. I am not sure why I get hits on that, I have never had a nudist blog, although I probably have blogged in the nude. ;-)

I'm also getting hits for "homework cheats." Those have been the two main searches in the last couple of weeks. The nude people are wanting to cheat on their homework as well. Why don't I ever get any hits on "the nearest church" or "charity contributions?"

Okay, maybe I don't get hits on those things because I have never mentioned charitable contributions or going to church. I'll make a list of nice things never mentioned here:

Church
Flowers
Puppies
Kittens
Sunday Dinners
Fuzzy Blankies
Fireplaces
Hot Soup on a cold day
Charities
Love
Hugs

There. Maybe that will send some wholesome blog searches my direction.

Compliments

Sometimes they are few and far between. My boss is a great boss, but he is stingy with the compliments. However, when he does give them, I know he means it because it is not something he does on a regular basis.

There are two schoolteachers I had. One was very nice, everyone loved her, and she made an effort to compliment every one of her students. It was okay. She complimented everyone, so although it was nice, it wasn't special. Another teacher I had in high school was gruff, curmudgeonly (personally he was one of my favorite teachers), but when he gave out one of his very rare compliments, you felt like you had earned it and it left you glowing.

I think I prefer the rare compliments.

Oh, and by the way (off topic here), my daughter is going to make sure I stroke out soon.

One More

I saw this over at Odat's and decided to steal it. Because I am evil.

MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


How evil are you?

Spiders

I confess to having a bit of a fascination with spiders - I both love and hate them at the same time. Being a typical girl, they give me the creepy crawlies, but at the same time I love looking at them, they are gorgeous creatures.



Back in my days of domestication (before I went feral), for a few years in a row a spider like this one would take up residence somewhere near our house. I wouldn't let anyone touch it, I thought it was beautiful. The kids and I would feed it grasshoppers. I think it appreciated it. One made its zig zaggy web right outside my kitchen window, which was pretty clever for a spider. It knew the light would draw the moths at night.

The last time the maintenance guy was in to fix something in my apartment, he told me about a spider that seems to have migrated up from Florida.. something called a brown widow. I thought he was yanking my chain until I looked it up, and sure enough there is such a thang.



It looks just like a black widow except it is brown. Apparently it is as poisonous as a black widow as well, but isn't as aggressive. It will run when approached (thank God for small favors).

Then there are these:



Wolf Spiders. My office partner had some recent adventures with these types of spiders, claiming they were as big as her hand. I'm not sure if that was the case or if it was a claim born from a couple of panicked nights of trying to kill some. It does seem that these things can get up to a couple of inches in length, and with their legs included that would make them as big as a hand.

Okay that would scare me.

I used to have a baby spider named Chuck living in my bedroom. The cat ate him.

300

I watched that movie last night. I'm not sure I enjoyed it. I didn't NOT enjoy it, but it wasn't all that pleasant of a movie to watch. Lots of blood and guts and beheadings.

I'll let you know as soon as I decide whether or not I liked it.

(The men's abs were very nice though.)

Yuck

I am a fairly decent cook. I can usually turn a collection of random foodstuffs into something edible. However, I do occasionally have major failures, as was the case this weekend.

I attempted to make split pea soup. Normally I love split pea soup, but obviously it is not one of my talents. I couldn't finish even one bowl of the stuff. It isn't even good enough to feed to my vicious guard dog (although that could be considered his punishment for trying to bite the neighbor). But that leads me to another dilemma... how does one dispose of a full pot of disgusting split pea soup??

I think I'll start a list of things that are difficult to dispose of:

Broken vibrator (don't ask)
Unwanted Pot Pipe (really don't ask)
Disgusting Split Pea Soup

Maybe I should stick with cooking the basics for a while. My mom and my daughter both have the cooking talent of the family. It must have skipped a generation.

On to other developments....

I spoke to the WRS (a/k/a World Reknowned Scientist a/k/a bestest friend) via email yesterday, seeing as how he is such a busy guy these days. He was telling me how he was enjoying the power of his new (temporary) position of running an institute. He mentioned that he was "putting a cap in the ass" of anyone who was being negative. The conversation was ongoing until I reminded him that the phrase "putting a cap in his ass" was so completely American. hehe

And finally, Brian J. Noggle has posted another installment of Ask Dr. Creepy. I have found this to be one of my favorite things to read in the blog world, but Dr. Creepy doesn't come out to visit very often.

Bad Habits

Setting the scene:

6:00 a.m.
Hot tea in hand.
Dog by my feet.
Air conditioner on.
Edward Scissorhands on the television.

Here we go........

Why is it that bad habits are sooooo easy to fall into? I was doing so well, but then BOOM. I had company for a good chunk of the summer and I fell right back into my old habits. Eating junk food and not drinking water and smoking and not exercising and spending too much money and... and......

But I'm better now. I have once again stopped everything and am drinking only water or tea again (as opposed to energy drinks and diet soda). The junk food has stopped. Okay the exercise hasn't started again yet but I'm thinking about it. The spending has mostly stopped. The smoking has stopped.

Poverty will do that sort of thing to you.

Anyway, I expect in a few weeks I will be back to my pre-summer self, sunny disposition and all. Attemping to return to healthy(ish) is hard work.

Now, about yesterday. I was outside with my dog. He's a good dog, but he's a tad - shall we say - antisocial. So I was standing outside with him and he was doing his thing on a nearby bush. A neighbor decided to take that moment to amble by, said their hellos, and Jake, loving dog that he is, LUNGED at the neighbor, snarling and showing his teeth. He scared the shit out of the neighbor and me as well because I was having trouble controlling him. I apologized all over the place for the way Jake behaved, and the neighbor was good enough to take it in stride. Having a guard dog is all well and good, but not a vicious dog. I'm not sure what to do about this situation. This is Jake's bad habit.

So anyway, today's topic is bad habits. Jake and I are not the only ones that have them, I hope. ;-)

The Simpsons Version of Hamlet

By the way... has anyone seen the Simpsons movie?

I've Got The Summer Blahs

I Want To Goooooooooo

Once upon a time I was married to a man who claimed he liked to travel, and he did... as long as it was places of his choosing and his parents went along. Back in those days I didn't like to travel much.

BUT, now that I get to choose where I go and what I see, the travel bug has hit me in a big way. Last year I was in the final planning stages of my trip to Scotland, and yesterday the urge struck to go see someplace new. I had JC on IM at the time (I was at work), so I sent him a message.... "Hey.. lets go to Key West." His response was, "Okay."

This is so cool, to have something like that occur to me and have him be all for it. And I'm betting he won't want his parents along.

;-)

I'm Back (sort of)

I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I took a mini vacation. I didn't go anywhere, but I stayed home and indulged my bad mood. I behaved badly and was forced to apologize. I kicked the dog and tripped little old ladies. I laughed at inappropriate moments.

So anyway, here I am, I am back. I am still indulging my bad mood though, so be warned.


I was thinking the other day about something that happened when my daughter was about four years old. She had a cabbage patch doll (remember those??). It was one that she had been given on the day she was born, a baby gift. Well she absolutely adored that thing and named the doll Jenny. Jenny went with her everywhere. Until one day, she had left Jenny in the living room. I was picking up toys and doing things that moms do. I picked up Jenny and carried her to my daughter's bedroom where my daughter was playing. Instead of walking into the bedroom to hand her Jenny, I tossed Jenny from the door to the bed. My daughter was absolutely horrified. She started screaming about how I had "killed Jenny!" I, of course, tried to make amends by walking to the bed, picking Jenny up and telling her that Jenny was okay, she was not dead. My daughter would have none of it... she was convinced that I killed Jenny and refused from that day on to have anything to do with that doll.

I guess I did kill Jenny.