[You] speak an infinite deal of nothing.

I am a Shakespeare fan. I admit to not understanding about 80% of what is said, but it still holds me completely enthralled.

To that end, I present for you, The Shakespearean Insulter. What better way to insult your friends without them knowing they've been insulted (unless they are literary snobs).

Here are a few:

You are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie.

[Thou art] not so big as a round little worm.

Thou wimpled pox-marked bugbear!

Thou rank ill-nurtured giglet!

Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.

Classics, I tell ya.